Day 38 Slump

By Christy

Well, the “honeymoon” of this world venture came to an end on Day 38. After our priceless Kenyan welcome, and our wonderful first day tour of the Children’s Home with Winny and all the children,  and meeting many of the friendly staff of Empowering Lives…3 days in, we hit the wall.
It was Tuesday afternoon when I think all 4 of us hit “bottom” at the same time. It was late afternoon and we had to come up with a plan for leading a devotion time at the children’s home within the hour, and also a plan for our class visits at the school tomorrow morning. This morning, we had led a workshop session with the Graduates, doing some “experiential” exercises on the topic of critical thinking, which they were covering in their training. It was sooo different leading some of the same exercises here that we had led with youth in Uganda. Unlike the boisterous, laughter-filled banter in our debriefs at Camp, here they were shy and timid, and when we asked a  question to spark group discussion—it was deathly silent. Was it us?…was it the topic?…would we be able to break through?
Then, we were slated to lead a session after lunch with the kids from the Children’s Home who had completed 8th grade and the qualifying exam and were just days from leaving for Boarding School for the first time. We decided it was a good fit to take them through the outdoor Trust exercises, which would have some good “life wisdom” at this critical turning point. Well, not all of our “we” thought that was a good idea, it turns out. Trevor, who usually “goes along for the ride”and rarely has strong opinions, made a declaration: “I never want to do this Trust sequence again, EVER. We have done it over and over – in Uganda, and here. I cannot handle doing it AGAIN.”
Oh, boy…didn’t see that coming. Quite candidly, I couldn’t agree more. If I have to facilitate the Trust activity sequence one more time, I’ll go nuts! The mere thought of it made me groan. But on the flip side, it is such a great tool, and it’s new for each group, and it gives such great insights.

Total Parent Dilemma: Do we force him to participate with us, and have him be miserable and resentful…or do we let him sit out, and have the member of our team whom these kids would enjoy most – someone their own age–be glaringly absent? On the one hand, he has been such an amazing trooper with everything we have done thus far, I wanted to give him an out. But on the other hand, this is a service  venture…and service includes sacrifice and giving to others even when you don’t feel like it. And we’re all in this together.  We struggled through some hard conversation, attempting to come up with a solution we could all agree on, but we were stuck. Total Impasse.

In the end, we worked out a compromise, deciding to go with a new relay activity Trevor proposed, and that he would set up, while me, Barry and Shayla kicked things off with the Trust activities.  Here goes.

Once again, we were faced with a very shy and timid group. We  got through the first Trust activity, awkwardly, then onto the 2nd. Given how hesitant they were, I didn’t want to put one of them on the spot to be first to go…and usually we have our facilitation partner be the “guinea pig.” Just then Trevor walked up after setting up the relay activity. Perfect! “Trev, will you go first for us?” Little did I know, it was going to be far from perfect. Trevor stepped into the circle, and once given the signal, proceeded to fall into the hands of the group, just as we had done many times before. Only this time, their nervousness, or Murphy’s Law, or something, kept them from catching him, and in a flash—BAMMM! Trevor hit the ground with a thud, flat on his back! Oh, No! No, of all people, not Trev, who didn’t want to do this in the first place! I could see in his eyes as he fought back the tears that it had hurt, big time. It knocked the wind out of him, no doubt. “Oh, I’m a schmuck…He’s going to remember this for years to come. I’m a horrible mom.” If I could only turn back the clock and have a “do over.”
Ay-yay-yay. Trev sat on the ground off to the side to recover, while I tried to lead a “regroup” conversation with the students. Well, there’s some raw material for a discussion on trust, eh? After a bit of processing, I stepped into the center to go next, and we gave it another go. Fortunately, I or the students that followed didn’t get dropped, but as you could expect, there was a feeling of reluctance in the air, and several of them played the option to “pass.”

Barry whispered a proposal that we abort the final Trust activity and go straight to the relay as an energizer instead. So, on to the relay, we went.     
                                                                           
Phew…we made it through to the end, but I had that drained feeling that I get when I pour out a lot of energy with an “introverted” group of engineers in my leadership workshops, and there is no reciprocal energy in response. We were told the Kalenjin people of this region were of a quieter nature, especially in groups, and we were certainly experiencing it firsthand.
So now here we were in the late afternoon, tired, discouraged and deflated. We were trying to come up with some creative ideas for our classroom visits, or in fact any  ideas that we could all agree on. We kept shooting down each other’s ideas and we had no clue what the teachers expected or what would be valuable or appropriate. We were brain-dead, emotionally drained, and cranky.  It was absolutely miserable.
In the midst of this, Trevor said, “A trip like this without a team is really lame.” When he said that, all I could see were loong months, stretching out before us…and a feeling of absolute dread began to swallow me up. Oh, my, it’s just us from now on. Until now, we’d been part of a team, and we’d been riding on that energy. In India, and Uganda, we had joined teams who had been there before, and had planned things in advance, and brought lots of fun activities and cool supplies. Now it was just the 4 of us, and we’d arrived
“empty handed,” or so it felt. Oh, man, how this would put us to the test, and create a lot of strain between us. I cringed at the dreary image that was now forming—of what the weeks—and months(!) ahead would be like.
The “honeymoon” is over.
So far, this experience has been absolutely incredible…too good to be true. Somehow, we had gone 38 days in different countries, with totally foreign foods, languages we didn’t understand, and endless unknowns, and yet we’d had no sickness, no snags, and no notable setbacks or disappointments. It had been unreal.
Well, here on Day 38, “reality” finally set in.
Our hearts felt so heavy, missing our precious friends in Uganda, and Thailand, and India. Our heartache over our recent goodbyes in Uganda was casting a shadow over everything. It was sooo difficult starting over again. 4 more months. This was going to be HARD.
Oh, how we need prayer right now. Prayer that we will feel connected and that we can open our hearts up again to our new friends here, and that they will feel drawn to do the same. Prayer for energy, as we are feeling really run down. Prayer that we will depend on God for strength instead of trying to go it alone.
And if we hadn’t gotten discouraged enough yet…Day 38 wasn’t over. In the middle of the night, we heard Trevor calling our name. We found him in the bathroom, huddled over the toilet, throwing up. Oh, poor Trev, why did the first one to get sick have to be him? I wished I could take his place. Well, the mom in me wanted to switch places, but the rest of me, uggh, I was filled with dread at the thought of catching whatever he had and wanted to dive into a pool of disinfectant, especially after seeing him suffer through 2 more bouts of vomit through the night.
Oh, my, which one of us is next??
Yes, the honeymoon is over.